The Daily Pervert

The Daily Pervert, Volume 1. Issue 3

“Issue” indeed is how pervert encounters happen to me on a minimum of atleast one per week.

My dear uncle who was very much concerned about my encounters with them, suggested that I make a record of them. For future references and a sort of “database” if you will, of sex offenders I meet.

I took this advice seriously and hence took my observing people into the next level. I will now remember significant details of the individual so that I or others can keep an eye out. (Who knows, it might end up being your own neighbor etc.  My “pervy senses” have reached levels of hyper sensitivity and I hope to start an agency, recruiting soon)

·         Date - September 1st

·         Time – 1 30 p.m.

·         Location – Maliban Road

·       Subject– Red T shirt. Motorcycle plated UV 0586. (It might have been a Honda or a Yamaha, not too sure.)

Description  - Lonely road, only a few people perhaps because it was a Sunday. I was walking on the left side and I notice a man coming my way on a mobike. He passed, then doubled back. Tingle pervy senses, I knew this wanker was upto no good. By-heart license plate. He stopped facing a few dozen yards infront of me. He and I are now in the same side of the road facing each other. So I cross the road to see him 'unpacking'. A three wheel comes my way an I quickly get in because lonely road and pervert don’t do so well together on my behalf. Bugger quickly locks and loads and is off in a whiff. The End.

Editors note – No pulling your phone out and taking pictures when he’s on a vehicle and you’re on foot. He WILL snatch it and ride off with it.

·         The past week had been a significantly rewarding week. Not one but two pervies.

·         Date –

·         Time – 6 : 45 p.m.

·         Location – inner roads of Sirimal Uyana

·         Subject - 5’ 6 ish. (noticed when he passed me, he was just shorter than I am. ) Slightly balding. Small made. A rather closed, hunched, introvert stature. Back pack. Light coloured shirt. Aged approx 26 culd be younger.

I was jogging with a friend. Enter perve walking passed us. Few yards after we pass him, he claps. When my friend turns around to see what the noise was about, his pants are half way down his legs. Need I say more. Ima keep an eye out for him when I jog again. Im sure to recognize him if I see him again.

Until next pervert, here’s hoping that none shall past thy path. 

The Daily Pervert, Volume 1. Issue 2   

June 10th. 
Dear diary, today i yelled at a pervert who was trying to feel his way up my arm. 
Me = mokada yako oya karanne? Lajja nadda thamuseta? 
him looking flustered = mukuth ne. Oyata pissu. 
Me = mata nemei yako, thamusetai pissu. Thiya ganin atha paya thamuse langin.Nahadichchakama! 
Then i turned to take a pic of him. He quickly got down the bus. 
Not a fly gave a fuck in the bus. But atleast i made it an eventful day for myself & the pervert.  - Kudos-

That was another eventful day for yours truly. The pervert edition of my blog is where I take the liberty to make awareness in the ever changing, continuously developing 'realm of pervies' in Sri Lanka. After using my experience as 'trial and error'

5 Tips to combat pervies

1) Be alert - Seriously ladies. You need to keep an eye out. I know you and I just want to grab a shut eye in bus before/after a long tiring day at work but if doing so means being perverted pleasure for creeps...well.. you get my point. Listening to songs or thinking about home and away while going in the bus is ok but  be aware of your surrounding. This could be happening to you or the little girl or boy in the front seat.

And gentlemen, dear dear gentlemen. Do intervene and do whats right. That lady IS in a fix.  Even with all the shouting and pictures being taken, not a cat in the bus batted an eye lid at what I was going through.

2) Record - No. Taking pictures will simply not cut it this time around. Trust me, i tried. During the time when i turned, snapped the picture, and saved it, the man was almost at the exit and sadly, the picture hadn't been saved as well. Instead record it as a video. That way, you'll have the exact reaction of him when you took it. It'll be a solid lead in favor of you when you go to the police (and yes. if you wish to get an upper hand in the control of these pests, you may have to go to the authorities. Jail term for perverted in buses = 2 years.)

3) Keep an eye out for creeps with briefcases. They use it when the get into "business". Film it when they do. Make sure you get a nice shot of his face.

4) Show your disapproval. - Do not  wait while he goes on with it. you are only encouraging it.Scream at him if you have to. Because remember 97%  of them are meek, feeble at heart characters who are still afraid of getting caught. Once confronted, the man mentioned above acted defensive and said that I was crazy. (to which i replied in then negative and rudely shoved an equal comment up his nose. I wouldnt have retorted back if he was a 2 ton beef bag who could crush me into bite size pieces or was capable of sticking a knife in me. But seeing as how this fellow was an average height, bald dude feebly fiddling his phone, i thought oh what the heck and let it rip )

note -  I've known the above tip back fired once. The man when shouted at had said something in the terms of "liking what he was doing the last time but why change of heart now". This is only 3% so its a slim chance your pervert is in this category.

5) They prefer high seated buses where not a cat will know even if someone chokes and dies . The high seats act as perfect covers for them. 

Stay tuned.. My next feature in the Daily Pervert will include photographs and vids of them pervies I encounter.





Previous edition of the Daily Pervert

The Daily Pervert, Volume 1. Issue 1 2013/02/26  

Yes. That IS the name of the column I thought I’d start to write. Since a) I represent a fair portion of the ladies who travel in public transportation so I’m bound to see or experience Them in action b) I find that the local herd of cattle have actually learned a few new tricks and deals in doing what they do and I as a journalist find it difficult to turn a blind eye and to not make awareness of this plight so that others don’t fall victim.

I may sound whinny or complain-y about the Public Horny Man (PHM) and some of you might even consider this a nuisance because I am always either “that bladdy pervert….” or “this bladdy pervert…” but I for one seem to stumble on to more than the average number of perverts on a weekly basis. Also note that my nomenclature when I say “pervert” ranges between ‘the actual flasher to the groper to the public horny man who has that weird look on their face’.

A Tuesday after a long weekend. The bus is packed but not the dire extremity of packed. Im seated in an aisle seat and resting my eyes because it was a long tiring weekend when I feel a slight jab on my right shoulder blade. A snap out of my doze.

My spidey senses tingle and I go “hmmm. Is someone upto something..” (to all the men who are reading this - you may wonder why a slight jab can startle a lady but let me make some things clear.  When someone is upto  something nasty we, the female genre CAN and WILL feel it. Consider it a natural defense mechanism. If the man has something up their sleeve, we generally feel it. But some of course are tube lights. Ehenan Sorry thama. 

I turn my head in an attempt to get proof of the felony and find myself looking at a man with a piece of paper rolled up in his hand. He was holding the rolled up paper in the hand in which he was holding on to the seat railing. The rolled of paper had poked me. I heave a sign of relief. Honest mistake. “Ah ok so he isn’t actually feeling his way up..”

The man is now aware that im awake and vigilant. The paper role comes and pokes me again. Same place. I’ve noticed that the locals never apologize. even an honest mistake calls for a “sorry” and I turn and realize he has that look in his face. Im assuming this “poking with the paper role” had taken place throughout my snooze. This idiot instead of using his hand to do whatever, was using the piece of rolled up paper.

Usually im all huff and puff about these type of things. But this time, it just felt sadly pathetic. The locals have now gone from physically touching a woman to indirect touching via inanimate object - im assuming in order to not get yelled at. It could be some sick fantasy too habai.

The next time I turn and give a look he pretends to be dozing off.

Sigh. The retarded things these lame-os do. To think how insanely frustrated they must be..is just pathetic. To tell you in the least.

That about sums it up for today's dose of the Daily Pervert. Do stay tuned to more interesting facts and figures of the modern day PHM.