A gentle reminder

It’s easy to get lost in the maze. To get distracted among the many beautiful and wondrous things, to run far and wide, so far that you lose yourself in the chasm of the diversity, the vibrant colours and the rumours of great things outside, to the extent that you lose sight of who you are and what matters to you most. You’ve forgotten your friends, those who were there with you when you had nowhere else to turn, who would still help you up if you were to fall down. You’ve forgotten your mother, who gave you the world and the power of will to make a name for yourself, the only one who would take you back inside, even if the entire world were to kick you out on to the streets. You’ve forgotten your brother who looks up to you to show him the way, and your sister who needed you to be around, to take on the reigns if she ever dropped them. The distractions are overwhelming and you’ve lost sight of the breadcrumbs that you dropped, ironically so that you would find your way back. You’ve forgotten what love looks like. You’ve fallen in it too many times, and each time it is different and unfamiliar, that you can no longer tell how real anything is. I know what you are. What you are is scared. The lines of love are blurred and you don’t know where to stand anymore, or if there is anywhere left to stand at all. It’s easy to get lost. I know you are tired. Tired of looking and getting lost trying. Tired of promises of happily ever afters that you see on tv, tired of seeing someone else in the eyes of the one you adore and tired of seeing love walk away. So you get used to this. Falling in and out. It is easy to fall in love. But it is difficult to stay in love.

I know it is hard.  But baby, I want you to remember. I want you to remember what love looks like. Love will remind you of your mother, because she is the reason you have survived, to look at the world with eyes so big that you only see the good in people and not the ugliness of material things. He will remind you of your best friends, who have taught you that life is a struggle, and to live it you must fight, and fight you must with a smile on your face and a song in your heart. She will remind you of your grandmother, who is a fighter on her own, a one-woman army if you may, who would fight for her values and teach you how to make an amazing chatney at the same time. He will remind you of your love of people, of how you want to help them fight their battles. He will also remind you of sorrow, your ability to give and to feel other’s pain. She will remind you that you can endure, and that you are strong, even when the whole world will try to prove otherwise. He will remind you of love letters, written with heavy, heartfelt words that were blotted out by tears that fell on the page. She will remind you of trees, and sunny beaches, and hot chocolate fudge on rainy days, of animals and the way you rolled in the mud when you were small, and didn’t care that you got your cloths dirty. But Love…Love will not be perfect. She will not be as beautiful to look at as you thought she will be. He will have his flaws. She will snore at night. He will be annoying. She will not return your calls. He will not be as funny as you hoped he will be, and she will not be as cute as you remember her. He will have crooked teeth that ruin your romantic kiss. She will wear too much perfume. He might not speak the language of your grandmother, but will still make you shine and your grandmother will understand that he loves you the most. She will not be perfect, but she will hold you like you were. He will not be the greatest cook, but will always have something for you to eat when you are hungry.  She will not be the most experienced under the sheets, but she will sew you a quilt from her hands that will wrap you on your hardest days, and tell you that everything will be alright.

And most of all, love will stay. Love will stay because it is easy to move on, and to get distracted by she who is prettier, or he who is funnier. Love wants to do what is difficult. Love does not want you to change for him, but she will change you for the better. Love will bring out the best in you, when you think you don’t have it in you. Love will remind you that the world is nothing but pain and suffering, and sadness all ballad up into one blue dot. But Love will also remind you that there is goodness in the world, of people reaching out to connect even in the middle of chaos and pain, and it is still a blessing to wake up every morning. Love will stay. Even when you yourself expect Love to leave. Love will stay and watch you grow up. And love will grow up with you. 

Smoke and Mirrors - Picture by Florence Henri