Moody

I can see forever from up here. I can see the rain kissing the giant window panes that surround me. I watch the sky change her mood from dark to pale even in the middle of the day, and towards the evening, perhaps when she is tired from switching between the two, she would burst out in shades of pink and orange that would later turn into darker shades of blue or purple that stay that way till finally, pitch black takes over and the lights in the city blink wide awake. It’s a steady process, so to say, an unwritten statement between the humans here and nature above. How the city lights take over when the sun retires. Especially during Christmas, out here in the city, it is truly a sight to live.

I look down, and see the hustle and bustle of the activity down below. People and vehicles rushing past, missing out on this view. It’s the season, and everyone is caught up with it.  But I am here in a room, locked away from all of that. From here, I can see the sea peaking over the buildings in the far corner, her shades more of a mossy green, sometimes turning gray and matching shades with the sky that’s not too sure of what colour she should look like. But let me tell you a secret. If you watch her close enough, you can almost see her moods change as you watch. But for that, you need to ‘want’ to see.

I’ve wanted to write about someone for some time now. But I didn’t know how to start, or how I would finish. Because it’s just a thought, and thoughts rarely have any beginning or ending. Its just there. Like her. She comes and goes. I don’t know much about her, but each day I meet her, I learn something new about her. A fact, or a thought about her, that I didn’t know previously. She would give one fact, each meeting, and from these ‘facts’ I would learn about her, how she works and how she thinks. She is probably –indirectly- the reason why I am in this room in the first place.  Yesterday, she said that each of us are here to learn.  And the longer we stay on this plane, born and reborn, we gather ‘learnings’. These ‘learners’ breed compassion, and understanding of each other and that takes eons to cultivate. Because there are lesser the ‘learned’ among us. They are young and they don’t know how to feel. They just are. Vessels carrying souls that don’t ‘feel’. No- actually they do. They do feel, but they feel only about themselves. Atleast, that is what she tells me. I think she could be right. But I want to add to her ‘thoughts’. I add that they, these older individuals not only feel and understand others, but also, -counteractively- are unattached to them. They do not ‘cling’ on to what they feel for. But try to heal them instead. They feel them, their pain and their suffering, and do their best to heal them. And then be off on their way to learn more. And at the end of their learning, they leave. They are allowed to leave because they do not cling on.  They don’t need more and more of what they pleasured, but understand that wanting more will only prolong their stay here. But I don’t know for sure. It’s just a thought. It doesn’t have a beginning, or even an end. Maybe one day I will know.