Dear slick fingers alias pickpocket,
Firstly, let me take this opportunity to congratulate you in
your endeavor of snatching my purse from inside the miniature black hole that
is my handbag when I myself finds it quite difficult to get at the sneaky rascal
when the konda asks for that stubborn 2 rupees that refuses to be found. It is
indeed the I will hire you to teach me that technique in which you silently,
and within 2 seconds flat grabbed my purse and
I would also like to point how fortunate you are to have
found yourself grasping my purse on the one day of the year that I have more than 200 rupees in it. That my
dear pick pocket, is once in a blue moon opportunity, even surpassed by my own
self, the owner of the purse in an emergency. You may keep the 1500 Rs that was
in it as a token of my gratitude.
You may also hold on to both my bank cards as I no longer need
them. Along with the pen drive that I used to carry my print out material etc.
Awaiting positive response attached with my NIC - that which
you do not require and that which I will take hell pains to remake. Enclosed in
this letter, please find an envelope (with stamp) addressed to me so that you
may drop it off at the nearest mail box to be delivered to me.
Thanking you in advance and wishing you “happy spending”
with your recent prize.
Yours Sincerely,
NP
Post Statement.
However, in failing to conquer the above request within 7 – 8 working days, I am sorry to inform you
that I will put the severest of all curses upon you, your family (including
your pet Lassy) and your off spring that
no good may come your way (let alone nice people like me who give our hard
earned money off like this)
The terms and agreements of the curse are such that your
fingers will rot and fall off leaving you unable to eat by yourself OR scratch
that annoying itchy spot on your bum. The inability to eat will eventually
hinder you starving and in due course, death -a slow painful horrible death.
In anticipation that, that doesn’t come to pass, I wish you
the very best in your future deeds and kind regards to you and your family and
not forgetting Lassy, your pet dog.
Dear NP,
ReplyDeleteThank you for the compliments about my sticky fingers, I must say snatching your purse from your hand bag wasn’t a big deal at all. FYI it wasn’t a miniature black hole, it was gigantic, I would have emptied your whole handbag through that. But I stick to my pickpocket code. ("Yeah that’s right, I saved you from makeup expenses too. You’re welcome"). And sorry about that stubborn konda, but I saw few coins in your hand bag and I wonder why you never found it. (Guess who was next to you when konda asked for 2/=).
I must say that was a once in a blue moon opportunity indeed, can you believe it 1500/= in my first pickpocket of the day. Anyway what you considered as a token is a result of my hard work; I really appreciate your attitude on that. And about your Bank cards, I have no interest on it, although I've got couple of credit cards for shopping (Someone lost their credit cards). Your pen drive is safe with me I would like to return it to you, consider it as a gift from me for your kind tip, But it'll cost you 'another tip + transport & maintenance charge'.
I didn’t want to get into any risks by posting your NIC so I managed to find the address and dropped your NIC there with the empty purse, Hope you got it.
Thank you for the tip and the Pen drive young lady. Wish you a wealthy future (Bokkenma) so you can give more tips for other pick pocketers.
Yours Sincerely,
Mr. Slick Fingers Alias Pickpocket.
P.S.
Seriously ! curse to my pet too... :/
adeh sirawata?
ReplyDeleteYou picked my pocket? shaaaa. maarai ah! supiri wadak ne karala thiyenne. demuko balanna loku athpolasan nadayak meyata. *clap clap clap*
I must say that this a very nice opportunity to actually commune with the person who stole my purse. Good for you bro! or girl! :D (which ever you may be) you should have posted my ID ne? rather than going to all the hassel of leaving it at my address etc. post box ekaka dammanan it would have found its way to me. I didn't get it even. :/ aparade
and thanks. :D cheers!
Siraa da?
ReplyDeleteYou didn't got your NIC, but never mind I'm sure you are happy to change your picture in NIC, it didnt looked good either :D .
So you ready for another Round? looking for some extra bucks these days. ape aarthikatya me dawas wala hari durvalai neh.
Cheers..!