Apparently, I am
boring because I do not drink or smoke. Me being boring is quite possibly true.
But I am sorry that you have to swallow a ‘magic potion’ to substitute for your
lack of personality.
P.s. Feel free to feel sorry for yourself and suck on that information till you die at 42 with lung cancer and or kidney failure.
P.s. Feel free to feel sorry for yourself and suck on that information till you die at 42 with lung cancer and or kidney failure.
Recently, I was out
for dinner with a few friends when the drinks started to pour in. Bottles
marked with x,y and z sat side by side in front of me when I made an
announcement saying that I will not be smoking or drinking. This resulted in loud
protests from everyone exclaiming that ‘that will not do’ because it was a
birthday ‘celebration’ and inquired as to why the sudden change of heart because
I had been a social drinker / smoker. I simply said that I was not into it any
more rather than going on into specifications. (Same with why people ask me why
I am a vegetarian.) There were the friendly jabs on and off but what made me
stop and politely smile was the comment this one guy gave me.
“Nad, you are boring”
he said. To which I just smiled and looked away, silently laughing inside my
head because I personally consider it a waste of time to talk to people like
that, no matter how rude I may seem. I considered this guy to be a little bit
of charmer, to be honest, like most men I encounter, who until they open their
mouth, seem actually worth a minute or two of my time. It’s like how this guy
mate of mine commented on some of the women he encounters. From afar, they look
like the absolute bomb, plays the whole ‘acts like summer, walks like winter’
deal, is charming, rich, good looking, curvy hips *add whatever tickles your
fancy* until they open their mouth. He described it as his boner
actually shrinking back to its unturned on size...I was thinking – no, pleading
inside my head for this guy to stop talking because the lady equivalent of the
boner-shrinking was happening to me. (aka my vagina was clamped shut) By this
time of course the charm had jumped off the window and was running towards the nearby
cliff to jump off of it.
Now, don’t take me
wrong. I am not insulted at that
feedback. Not in the least. The comments I have received range from ‘easy to
talk to’ to ‘a dickless dude with tits’ to ‘nahadichcha lamayek’ which are all
true to the core. Boring is just another one. I probably am boring which, if
you look at it, is something I can’t really help. What I cannot understand is
how an artificial drink can make me more ‘hip’ and ‘fun’ if I am boring to
begin with - unless it contains some magic ingredient which will amplify my
‘funk’. And no one told me that booze has this magic ingredient that helps
people be awesome/appealing. If at all it did, it sure the heck wasn’t going in
favor of this poor chap.
This I later
understood was what some people do apparently. They would try to get the lady
drunk enough to not reject their advancement. This is another thing that I do
not get. Maybe its just me, as a person who used to get drunk, I do not recall
NOT knowing what I did when I was drunk. I knew exactly what I was doing
- unless I am passed flat out on the floor. Of course, things would be hazy, but I still knew what I was doing – so the notion of a person’s senses
being dulled to a level of not knowing what they did, is to me, a little
over rated. [1]
Some people also say its okay to cheat on a committed relationship when they
are drunk. Some people also say that the Earth was flat and dinosaurs didn’t
exist.. But hey, maybe I’m just boring and uneducated.
Bottom line – booze is
just your excuse to be stupid. At least, in my books. So that you can get away
with shit you probably would not have gotten away while sober. So all you folk
out there who claim to adho-I-don’t-remember-shit – I-was-dead-drunk, are so totally lying and I can see through you like you were a piece of plexi
glass.
Others say that
they feel like they are boring at a party if they don’t drink. Honey, you are
an amazing individual as it is. You might as well stay eternally drunk –like Captain
Haddock for example - if you feel that
your personality lacks enough substances un-drunk in day to day life. I dunno
about you, but I’d rather stay at home being boring than associate with the
likes of such people who say or even indicate that. The whole hitha mithra sewanaya line from the good
Lord. Know when you are in bad company. Don’t be rude, but do yourself a favour
and move out.
There is also some who
say that a celebration isn’t a celebration and there are no amazing memories without
a little booze. True. Cannibals weren’t cannibals without eating other human
beings. My idea of fun won’t be your idea of fun. And I have the right to my
opinion and you have the right to yours. But if you want memories, go out there
and make some. With friends or family or whoever. Its not like you don’t make
memories when you are not drunk and heck, I know plenty of people who have
major fun without getting drunk because they are lively people. They love food,
and they spent many a happy hours eating and having funny/intelligent conversations
over food.
Then again there are
those who say drinking is okay if guys do it but not if girls do it. Unlike domestic
violence and the American pay check, health side effects know no gender. I’m
not going to write pages of pros and cons of drinking and
smoking. I’m not here to say ‘don’t drink’ or ‘don’t smoke’. By all means, do
what makes you happy, be the life of the party, have fun, keep on drinking and
smoking. It’s your life. But drink for the right reason. Because you want to and
not because society wants you to.
Why I turned down drinks and smokes –if anyone
is wondering- is because from what the trusty internet tells me, smoking is bad
for the lungs and drinking messes up your kidneys. I am not saying I am 100%
health freak who stays away from burgers and eats homemade vegetables. But I do
try to give my body the necessary nutrients and exercise it needs so that it
can function at the optimum level and also, just maybe can function at its
optimum say until another 60 – 70 years (unless pollution or the economy kills
me first) without worrying and looking for extra kidneys in the black market or
expensive medication for when I am old and cranky.
That, and I have pretty much tried the entire booze and cig menus out there so I can safely say I've been there, done that to everything. Plus I'm a total buzz kill when I am drunk - I'll be in some corner hugging a bottle without actually engaging in lively conversations / mingling. Also , I'm not very partial to the smell of smoke - and it turns me off to think of kissing people who stink. Just fyi. You'd have a better chance of making out even if you looked like a troll but still smelled nice. And not mention have knack for interesting conversation topics.
[1] However, I have read
of rape cases when the girl was drunk – rape because of the level of consent
involved due to intoxication which would over ride my statement above. http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/aug/14/ched-evans-rapist-sheffield-united-footballer?CMP=fb_gu
I read the 1st para and now im sleepy and this is kinda too long. But the begging was good. Keep it up Paulis girl. (y)
ReplyDeleteHi Kaushalya, Thanks! No worries dude. Your sleepy eyed feedback is appreciated ^_^
DeleteSleep tight!